Casting Call: Final Fantasy VII the movie

You ever had a fantasy to make up a casting call to one of your favorite games or books? Something that you can see each actor playing the character’s specific role to the point where you feel like sharing it with other fans of said creative medium? Please say yes so I don’t feel like too much of a geek. That, or you can either nod your head in agreement or point and laugh at my choices for a casting call for Final Fantasy VII the movie.

On a notion of Final Fantasy VII working as a movie, I know many scoff at the idea, especially if it’s anything but CG animated. However, when you think of the plot elements within the movie (evil corporation killing the planet slowly), it parallels some of the fears and sentiments people of today have already about the environment. Besides, throw in the most unlikely group of miscreant terrorists with lewd humor and you’re pretty much hitting every high point dealing with many world governments today. So, without further talkie talkie, let’s continue on.


  • Director

    Unknown

  • Anyone but Michael Bay and Uwe Boll

I’m not particularly picky about a director. Most of the movies I’ve seen were decent enough. Decent camera coordination, decent plot direction, decent cast. Actually, most movies I’ve seen were above decent (I know, my likes for movies seem to vary greatly from video games–go figure). However, there are two particular directors who have experience in the creative medium of video games/books/comics/cartoons/whatever that just suck. Michael Bay being, of course, being the first one to mention. I’ve seen seven Michael Bay films, so I have become somewhat of an expert on what shitty movies are like. And Uwe Boll…if you need a reason, then you’re a goober. At the same time, however, you don’t want someone who won’t fit into the mix of Final Fantasy VII. The last thing I want is Martin Scorsese having Barret curse more than he already does. However, I am quite partial to Matthew Vaughn. His style of directing has the sort of quality a gritty fantasy game like Final Fantasy VII would need.


Cloud Strife
Believe me, the hair doesn't work for anyone

Matt Damon

This was definitely the toughest call to make. Cloud has some gravity-defying hair, which has been toned down in Advent Children, but the hair still put this one out far…way far. So I had to rely more on an actor that could pull off Cloud’s personality–someone who can be a serious bastard with a side order of affection every now and then. That’s when it hit me; Matt Damon would perfectly fit the role. I mean, come on. Borne Identity? And Cloud is all about not knowing who the hell he is, spending most of the game not really caring about what’s going on with the world. Hair or not, Matt Damon fits the role.


Sephiroth
We all know the long hair actually works for him
Orlando Bloom

I know what you’re saying. Orlando Bloom? The girl boy of the movie industry? The textbook definition of the opposite of manliness? Well, when you think about Sephiroth, his character is not about manliness. In fact, Sephiroth has some boyish looks going about him with an inviting smile. That’s what made Sephiroth a crazy bastard–he doesn’t look the type to be impaling flower girls and carrying around his mother’s head. Plus I always envisioned Sephiroth to have an airy, arrogant voice, and that’s Orlando Bloom right there.


Vincent Valentine
Rufus Sewell...look at it in the mirror
Rufus Sewell

You might know Rufus Sewell from his roles in Dark City and a Knight’s Tale. This guy is a bonafide bad ass. When he smiles he just looks creepier. Plus, spell his name backwards. You’ll shit bricks. Which makes him the perfect fit for the creepy Vincent Valentine–the perfect tragic monster. Doesn’t have to talk because one look from him says enough. Plus, can you imagine his limit break?


Zack Fair
Matt Damon's twin
Mark Wahlberg

When I first saw Mark Wahlberg in Three Kings, I had mistaken him for Matt Damon. I mean, the guy even sounds like Matt Damon in some respect. Imagine my confusion when watching The Departed. On the aspect that the two actors look alike lands his part as Zack, who is supposed to resemble Cloud (or is that the other way around?). Much like Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg has that serious ‘tude and sardonic humor to further put him into the role for Zack.


Aeris Gainsborough
Best Shop yet I think
Denise Richards

If you ignore all the smut roles and drama she’s caused behind the screens, Denise Richards’s smile can make her seem nigh innocent. Try Starship Troopers to see what I am talking about. She’s just got a great smile that seems to brighten up the room and already has the eye color to fit the role. Plus, when she’s not smiling or not doing a smutty look, she does have a mysterious sense going about her, which is also another plus for her role as Aeris. The other plus to this role is that if you don’t like her then you’ll know she’ll die in the second movie anyways.


Tifa Lockheart
They all have freakishly large heads, don't they?
Liv Tyler

Like as if this was a difficult choice. No contest here as Liv Tyler fits the perfect role for Tifa Lockheart. She’s got the sex appeal for sure, but what’s more is that she also has the spunk. Of course, while I did have some other brunettes in mind for the role, none of them fit the part as well as Liv Tyler. Well, perhaps some of the other ones with bigger bust sizes did, but please, in moderation.


Barret Wallace
I pity the foo' who pity the foo'
Mr. T

I take it back. This was the easiest choice of them all. Who better to play Barret than the very man that Tetsuya Nomura had to have design him after. Seriously, it doesn’t even look like I Photoshopped Mr. T’s head in that shot, does it? Didn’t think so. And you know Mr. T definitely has the attitude to play Barret. This has just got “born to play this role” written all over it. I don’t care if he’s pushing 50 something; he’s the best guy for the role.


Cid Highwind
Sit down and drink your goddamn tea!
Adam Baldwin

You’ll know Adam Baldwin if you’ve seen Firefly and its follow-up movie finale Serenity (and if you haven’t then I will await while you flog yourself for not doing so). He plays an offensive and bad ass character. Well, fancy that, that’s Cid, isn’t it? Ayup, sure it. Plus, I just can’t think of anyone better to utter the line, “Sit down and drink your goddamn tea!”


Yuffie Kisaragi
Bingo you spikey-headed jerk!
Chiaki Kuriyama

She’s been in a lot of small roles, mostly Japanese B-movies, but you may notice her from Kill Bill Volume 1 as Gogo (the chick with the school girl outfit and the ol’ ball and chain). That performance there, when I saw the movie, actually made me think of Yuffie. She looks innocent, she’s petite, and she has a high voice. Yuffie is the youngest character in the gang and her adolesence definitely shows. I can just picture her giving a devilishly evil smile when lifting the party’s materia throughout the game, which is why I think Chiaki Kuriyama would fit the role. Oh, and she’s apparently learning English for her upcoming role in a Tekken movie, so we’re good for that as well.


Cait Sith
Yes, that is Robin William's head on a cat
Robin Williams (voice)

Cait Sith is a robotic cat on top of a stuffed moogle whom he controls. Cait Sith was originally to have a much bigger character background within the game, but I think they got the idea that the caste range was crazy enough and left him as a robotic cat fortune teller. It talks, and I can’t help but think having Robin Williams’s crazy antics in voice acting would make a perfect fit for the robotic cat. Oh, and no, that doesn’t mean Robin Williams gets to play Tseng.


Red XIII
Beast. Definitely a beast.
Ron Perlman (voice)

Ron Perlman has played a number of beastly roles (like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast) and certainly has the deep voice and manner to remained reserved at the same time. This is exactly how I pictured Red XIII; he can fearsome when he wants to, but he’s really just a cuddly beast with a tail that’s on fire.


Rufus Shinra
He likes to make speeches, like his father
Christian Bale

Rufus Shinra is an arrogant dude that likes to flip his hair over and listen to the sound of his own voice. At the same time, he’s also a pretty boy and had no trouble having his father killed so he could become the new president of Shinra. This has Christian Bale written all over it–cold, exacting, arrogant, and abrasive while remaining his cool (well, except that one time).


Tseng
Interview with a Vampire--so yeah, long hair works for him
Brad Pitt

Tseng isn’t much of a seen character, much like the rest of the minor cast, but still plays a vital role. For instance, he is the reason why Aeris was never brought back to Shinra. He also attempts to stop Sephiroth at the Temple of the Ancients. He keeps his cool but he has ulterior motives–he wants to help others. This is why I believe Brad Pitt would sustain that role well. If you’ve seen Meet Joe Black, you understand that he can definitely be apathetic and emotionless, which is what I feel Tseng is for much of the game.


Reno
Looking at you is making me want to be a Scientologist
Tom Cruise

Reno is a crazy bastard just looking for a fight most of the time. He’s energetic and high strung. With that said, if you need a reason why I chose Tom Cruise after describing Reno, then you need to get out of that cave you have been living in.


Rude
...
Jason Statham

Rude rarely speaks, but is damnably intimidating as a friggin’ huge guy. You imagine if he does speak his voice is also doubly intimidating. Rude also happens to be bald. So, here we have is a bad ass bald dude…Jason Statham should’ve been the first guy to come to mind. See, I even found a picture with him with sunglasses. Now just picture him not smiling. Definitely Rude.


Elena
Yes, I got sloppy with the Shop job. Shush.
Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly has certainly shown off that she can be ditzy while attempting to be serious in some limited roles (and I don’t mean a Playboy spread), which is exactly what Elena is. New to the Turks, taking her job seriously, but still ditzy and young enough to be concerned with who is interested in who. Of course, many other women can pull that off in a role, but none that actually resemble Elena as well as Jaime Pressly.


Professor Hojo
Are you watching closely...
Hugh Jackman

Professor Hojo is an unkemptly little man of self-reserved chuckles and hot-headed bouts of mad scientry. I had a tough choice trying to pint point which actor could fill this role the best until I remembered Hugh Jackman’s performance in The Prestige, where he was an eerily-obssessed magician that had no qualms about killing or hurting people to get to where he needed to be. At the same time, Jackman is a dark character, just as much as Hojo is, and certainly has a resmblance to him if he shaves and puts on some spectacles.


Reeve Tuesti
I am a spy
Liam Neeson

Reeve possibly plays the smallest role in the Shinra cast of characters–as in you rarely see Reeve in the game. There’s a few times at the beggining of the game and then during the WEAPON raid on Midgar, but that’s about it. After the team discovers that he’s actually the one controlling Cait Sith and was acting as a Shinra spy to sabotage the team, he comes clean, and subsequently helps the team out later. Reeve blends into most scenes, including those with the other Shinra cast, and really has no defining characteristics. He’s mundane. So here’s where Liam Neeson comes in. Neeson can be a bad ass, he can be insane, and he can even laugh, but when he’s doing all those things, he still has a mundane and serious expression when doing those things. Plus he looks like Reeve as well.


President Shinra
Worst. Shop. Ever.
Christopher Plummer

I know President Shinra has a small role and is dead before you know it, but he’s still part of the cast in a major way. He’s largely fat, but he’s an old fat man. Which is why you’re probably wondering why I chose Christopher Plummer, who is definitely old, but is not fat. C’mon folks, fat suits aren’t foreign these days. The real reason why I chose him is because Plummer has that evil corporate look about him, which is exactly what President Shinra is all about.


Heidegger
Gya ha ha ha!
Gene Hackman

Heidegger is the high-strung head of Public Safety (Newspeak for the Shinra army). He’s a fat, ugly man with a huge beard and is known for his loud antics and bitch slapping people left and right. That’s pretty much Gene Jackman in Crimson Tide (right down to the slapping). Couple that with his role in The Quick and the Dead and there’s no doubt Hackman can pull off being a bastard while having an annoying laugh.


Scarlet
Hotttttttttttttttttt
Uma Thurman

Scarlet is the femme fatale head of Weapons Development, which is why you see her hanging out with Heidegger a lot. They both have similar personalities, but Scarlet is much more bitchy and slaps a lot more people. Uma Thurman has been more than proving that she can pull of a range of things when it comes to acting, including an obnoxious laugh, so it’s no contest to find why she’d make a great Scarlet.


Jessie
I made this fake ID special for you
Jewel Staite

Jessie has a short-lived role in the terrorist group AVALANCHE at the begining of the game. She’s the bomb expert and has a knack for fake IDs. She also has some what of a crush on Cloud. I always got the feeling that Jessie was a perky character, and if you’ve seen Jewel Staite in Firefly, then you’ll understand exactly why I chose her.


Biggs
PIZZA!
David Hewlett

Biggs also has a short-lived role on the same team of AVALANCHE. He’s cocky and pretends to be tough, but, in reality, he backs down from most fights (mostly because he loses them). He’s distrusting to Cloud and likes to pang on the others in AVALANCHE, but deep down inside he’s actually a nice guy. So basically he’s Rodney McKay, minus the genius.


Wedge
Red leader red leader...
Michael Shanks

You’re probably seeing a pattern here with my last three choices…good. Considering these three (well, specifically these two) are all about cameos in a number of Final Fantasy games, then you’ll understand why these actors come from the Stargate universe. Because I like Stargate and I’d like to slip them in for what are relatively small roles. Of course, Michael Shanks would fit the role for Wedge as well–quirky, nervous slim terrorist of AVALANCHE whose more concerned with ducking and covering than he is with what’s going on. This was basically Michael Shanks’s character at the beginning of Stargate: SG-1, which is why I also believe he would work as Wedge–and not just because of a cameo.

Well, that’s it for the cast, folks. I’m sure you’re disagreeing with a number of the actors I chose, including some of the bigger names that we all like to hate, but hey, that’s what I chose. If you want to make your own list then you’re free to tell me it here–at the least you can tell me why so and so is bad for so and so’s role. I at least hope you were entertained to some degree–whether it was out of laughter or interest.

Originally written: March 2009

<!–[if !mso]> <! st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } –>

Casting Call: Final Fantasy VII the movie

You ever had a fantasy to make up a casting call to one of your favorite games or books? Something that you can see each actor playing the character’s specific role to the point where you feel like sharing it with other fans of said creative medium? Please say yes so I don’t feel like too much of a geek. That, or you can either nod your head in agreement or point and laugh at my choices for a casting call for Final Fantasy VII the movie.

On a notion of Final Fantasy VII working as a movie, I know many scoff at the idea, especially if it’s anything but CG animated. However, when you think of the plot elements within the movie (evil corporation killing the planet slowly), it parallels some of the fears and sentiments people of today have already about the environment. Besides, throw in the most unlikely group of miscreant terrorists with lewd humor and you’re pretty much hitting every high point dealing with many world governments today. So, without further talkie talkie, let’s continue on.


Director
Unknown
Anyone but Michael Bay and Uwe Boll

I’m not particularly picky about a director. Most of the movies I’ve seen were decent enough. Decent camera coordination, decent plot direction, decent cast. Actually, most movies I’ve seen were above decent (I know, my likes for movies seem to vary greatly from video games–go figure). However, there are two particular directors who have experience in the creative medium of video games/books/comics/cartoons/whatever that just suck. Michael Bay being, of course, being the first one to mention. I’ve seen seven Michael Bay films, so I have become somewhat of an expert on what shitty movies are like. And Uwe Boll…if you need a reason, then you’re a goober. At the same time, however, you don’t want someone who won’t fix into the mix of Final Fantasy VII. The last thing I want is Martin Scorsese having Barret curse more than he already does. However, I am quite partial to Matthew Vaughn. His style of directing has the sort of quality a gritty fantasy game like Final Fantasy VII would need.


Cloud Strife
Believe me, the hair doesn't work for anyone

Matt Damon

This was definitely the toughest call to make. Cloud has some gravity-defying hair, which has been toned down in Advent Children, but the hair still put this one out far…way far. So I had to rely more on an actor that could pull off Cloud’s personality–someone who can be a serious bastard with a side order of affection every now and then. That’s when it hit me; Matt Damon would perfectly fit the role. I mean, come on. Borne Identity? And Cloud is all about not knowing who the hell he is, spending most of the game not really caring about what’s going on with the world. Hair or not, Matt Damon fits the role.


Sephiroth
We all know the long hair actually works for him
Orlando Bloom

I know what you’re saying. Orlando Bloom? The girl boy of the movie industry? The textbook definition of the opposite of manliness? Well, when you think about Sephiroth, his character is not about manliness. In fact, Sephiroth has some boyish looks going about him with an inviting smile. That’s what made Sephiroth a crazy bastard–he doesn’t look the type to be impaling flower girls and carrying around his mother’s head. Plus I always envisioned Sephiroth to have an airy, arrogant voice, and that’s Orlando Bloom right there.


Vincent Valentine
Rufus Sewell...look at it in the mirror
Rufus Sewell

You might know Rufus Sewell from his roles in Dark City and a Knight’s Tale. This guy is a bonafide bad ass. When he smiles he just looks creepier. Plus, spell his name backwards. You’ll shit bricks. Which makes him the perfect fit for the creepy Vincent Valentine–the perfect tragic monster. Doesn’t have to talk because one look from him says enough. Plus, can you imagine his limit break?


Zack Fair
Matt Damon's twin
Mark Wahlberg

When I first saw Mark Wahlberg in Three Kings, I had mistaken him for Matt Damon. I mean, the guy even sounds like Matt Damon in some respect. Imagine my confusion when watching The Departed. On the aspect that the two actors look like lands his part as Zack, who is supposed to resemble Cloud (or is that the other way around?). Much like Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg has that serious ‘tude and sardonic humor to further put him into the role for Zack.


Aeris Gainsborough
Best Shop yet I think
Denise Richards

If you ignore all the smut roles and drama she’s caused behind the screens, Denise Richards’s smile can make her seem nigh innocent. Try Starship Troopers to see what I am talking about. She’s just got a great smile that seems to brighten up the room and already has the eye color to fit the role. Plus, when she’s not smiling or not doing a smutty look, she does have a mysterious sense going about her, which is also another plus for her role as Aeris. The other plus to this role is that if you don’t like her then you’ll know she’ll die in the second movie anyways.


Tifa Lockheart
They all have freakishly large heads, don't they?
Snail Liv Tyler

Like as if this was a difficult choice. No contest here as Liv Tyler fits the perfect role for Tifa Lockheart. She’s got the sex appeal for sure, but what’s more is that she also has the spunk. Of course, while I did have some other brunettes in mind for the role, none of them fit the part as well as Liv Tyler. Well, perhaps some of the other ones with bigger bust sizes did, but please, in moderation.


Barret Wallace
I pity the foo' who pity the foo'
Mr. T

I take it back. This was the easiest choice of them all. Who better to play Barret than the very man that Tetsuya Nomura had to have designed him after. Seriously, it doesn’t even look like I Photoshopped Mr. T’s head in that shot, does it? Didn’t think so. And you know Mr. T definitely has the attitude to play Barret. This has just got “born to play this role” written all over it. I don’t care if he’s pushing 50 something; he’s the best guy for the role.


Cid Highwind
Sit down and drink your goddamn tea!
Adam Baldwin

You’ll know Adam Baldwin if you’ve seen Firefly and its follow-up movie finale Serenity (and if you haven’t then I will await while you flog yourself for not doing so). He plays an offensive and bad ass character. Well, fancy that, that’s Cid, isn’t it? Ayup, sure it. Plus, I just can’t think of anyone better to utter the line, “Sit down and drink your goddamn tea!”


Yuffie Kisaragi
Bingo you spikey-headed jerk!
Chiaki Kuriyama

She’s been in a lot of small roles, mostly Japanese B-movies, but you may notice her from Kill Bill Volume 1 as Gogo (the chick with the school girl outfit and the ol’ ball and chain). That performance there, when I saw the movie, actually made me think of Yuffie. She looks innocent, she’s petite, and she has a high voice. Yuffie is the youngest character in the gang and her adolesence definitely shows. I can just picture her giving a devilishly evil smile when lifting the party’s materia throughout the game, which is why I think Chiaki Kuriyama would fit the role. Oh, and she’s apparently learning English for her upcoming role in a Tekken movie, so we’re good for that as well.


Cait Sith
Yes, that is Robin William's head on a cat
Robin Williams (voice)

Cait Sith is a robotic cat on top of a stuffed moogle whom he controls. Cait Sith was originally to have a much bigger character background within the game, but I think they got the idea that the caste range was crazy enough and left him as a robotic cat fortune teller. It talks, and I can’t help but think having Robin Williams’s crazy antics in voice acting would make a perfect fit for the robotic cat. Oh, and no, that doesn’t mean Robin Williams gets to play Tseng.


Red XIII
Beast. Definitely a beast.
Project XIII Ron Perlman (voice)

Ron Perlman has played a number of beastly roles (like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast) and certainly has the deep voice and manner to remained reserved at the same time. This is exactly how I pictured Red XIII; he can fearsome when he wants to, but he’s really just a cuddly beast with a tail that’s on fire.


Rufus Shinra
He likes to make speeches, like his father
Christian Bale

Rufus Shinra is an arrogant dude that likes to flip his hair over and listen to the sound of his own voice. At the same time, he’s also a pretty boy and had no trouble having his father killed so he could become the new president of Shinra. This has Christian Bale written all over it–cold, exacting, arrogant, and abrasive while remaining his cool (well, except that one time).


Tseng
Interview with a Vampire--so yeah, long hair works for him
Brad Pitt

Tseng isn’t much of a seen character, much like the rest of the minor cast, but still plays a vital role. For instance, he is the reason why Aeris was never brought back to Shinra. He also attempts to stop Sephiroth at the Temple of the Ancients. He keeps his cool but he has ulterior motives–he wants to help others. This is why I believe Brad Pitt would sustain that role well. If you’ve seen Meet Joe Black, you understand that he can definitely be apathetic and emotionless, which is what I feel Tseng is for much of the game.


Reno
Looking at you is making me want to be a Scientologist
Tom Cruise

Reno is a crazy bastard just looking for a fight most of the time. He’s energetic and high strung. With that said, if you need a reason why I chose Tom Cruise after describing Reno, then you need to get out of that cave you have been living in.


Rude
...
Jason Statham

Rude rarely speaks, but is damnably intimidating as a friggin’ huge guy. You imagine if he does speak his voice is also doubly intimidating. Rude also happens to be bald. So, here we have is a bad ass bald dude…Jason Statham should’ve been the first guy to come to mind. See, I even found a picture with him with sunglasses. Now just picture him not smiling. Definitely Rude.


Elena
Yes, I got sloppy with the Shop job. Shush.
Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly has certainly shown off that she can be ditzy while attempting to be serious in some limited roles (and I don’t mean a Playboy spread), which is exactly what Elena is. New to the Turks, taking her job seriously, but still ditzy and young enough to be concerned with who is interested in who. Of course, many other women can pull that off in a role, but none that actually resemble Elena as well as Jaime Pressly.


Professor Hojo
Are you watching closely...
Sol Invictus Hugh Jackman

Professor Hojo is an unkemptly little man of self-reserved chuckles and hot-headed bouts of mad scientry. I had a tough choice trying to pint point which actor could fill this role the best until I remembered Hugh Jackman’s performance in The Prestige, where he was an eerily-obssessed magician that had no qualms about killing or hurting people to get to where he needed to be. At the same time, Jackman is a dark character, just as much as Hojo is, and certainly has a resmblance to him if he shaves and puts on some spectacles.


Reeve Tuesti
I am a spy
Liam Neeson

Reeve possibly plays the smallest role in the Shinra cast of characters–as in you rarely see Reeve in the game. There’s a few times at the beggining of the game and then during the WEAPON raid on Midgar, but that’s about it. After the team discovers that he’s actually the one controlling Cait Sith and was acting as a Shinra spy to sabotage the team, he comes clean, and subsequently helps the team out later. Reeve blends into most scenes, including those with the other Shinra cast, and really has no defining characteristics. He’s mundane. So here’s where Liam Neeson comes in. Neeson can be a bad ass, he can be insane, and he can even laugh, but when he’s doing all those things, he still has a mundane and serious expression when doing those things. Plus he looks like Reeve as well.


President Shinra
Worst. Shop. Ever.
Christopher Plummer

I know President Shinra has a small role and is dead before you know it, but he’s still part of the cast in a major way. He’s largely fat, but he’s an old fat man. Which is why you’re probably wondering why I chose Christopher Plummer, who is definitely old, but is not fight. C’mon folks, fat suits aren’t foreign these days. The real reason why I chose him is because Plummer has that evil corporate look about him, which is exactly what President Shinra is all about.


Heidegger
Gya ha ha ha!
Gene Hackman

Heidegger is the high-strung head of Public Safety (Newspeak for the Shinra army). He’s a fat, ugly man with a huge beard like is known for his loud antics and bitch slapping people left and right. That’s pretty much Gene Jackman in Crimson Tide (right down to the slapping). Couple that with his role in The Quick and the Dead and there’s no doubt Hackman can pull off being a bastard while having an annoying laugh.


Scarlet
Hotttttttttttttttttt
Uma Thurman

Scarlet is the femme fatale head of Weapons Development, which is why you see her hanging out with Heidegger a lot. They both have similar personalities, but Scarlet is much more bitchy and slaps a lot more people. Uma Thurman has been more than proving that she can pull of a range of things when it comes to acting, including an obnoxious laugh, so it’s no contest to find why she’d make a great Scarlet.


Jessie
I made this fake ID special for you
Jewel Staite

Jessie has a short-lived role in the terrorist group AVALANCHE at the begining of the game. She’s the bomb expert and has a knack for fake IDs. She also has some what of a crush on Cloud. I always got the feeling that Jessie was a perky character, and if you’ve seen Jewel Staite in Firefly, then you’ll understand exactly why I chose her.


Biggs
PIZZA!
David Hewlett

Biggs also has a short-lived role on the same team of AVALANCHE. He’s cocky and pretends to be tough, but, in reality, he backs down from most fights (mostly because he loses them). He’s distrusting to Cloud and likes to pang on the others in AVALANCHE, but deep down inside he’s actually a nice guy. So basically he’s Rodney McKay, minus the genius.


Wedge
Red leader red leader...
Michael Shanks

You’re probably seeing a pattern here with my last three choices…good. Considering these three (well, specifically these two) are all about cameos in a number of Final Fantasy games, then you’ll understand why these actors come from the Stargate universe. Because I like Stargate and I’d like to slip them in for what are relatively small roles. Of course, Michael Shanks would fit the role for Wedge as well–quirky, nervous slim terrorist of AVALANCHE whose more concerned with ducking and covering than he is with what’s going on. This was basically Michael Shanks’s character at the beginning of Stargate: SG-1, which is why I also believe he would work as Wedge–and not just because of a cameo.

Well, that’s it for the cast, folks. I’m sure you’re disagreeing with a number of the actors I chose, including some of the bigger names that we all like to hate, but hey, that’s what I chose. If you want to make your own list then you’re free to tell me it here–at the least you can tell me why so and so is bad for so and so’s role. I at least hope you were entertained to some degree–whether it was out of laughter or interest.

Advertisements

About Agamemnon
Started blogging back in 2007 amidst that whole Hellgate: London fiasco on a blog known as flagshipped.com. Eventually moved on to do my own thing in December 2008 at gameriot.com and started Caveat Emptor there. Wrote there for six months, gained some notoriety, and then left. Now I'm back.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: